eminent and concrete

There’s something to be said about loss: the loss in our lives that we can’t control, the loss that is inevitable, unexpected and maybe even perhaps, unwarranted.

But then there’s the kind of loss that we do control, and it’s odd when it inflicts a certain kind of pain, one that is similar, but different nonetheless.

I’ve been surrounded by loss in these last 10 days. The death of a brother of a friend, a lost chance on life for another friend’s baby, and the loss of my friend, my best friend. Obviously, some of those were of no control of mine, or anyone, but the compassion I wasn’t even aware I had control over has been uncontrollable.

At the end of it all, I just look and realize – this is life. And it’s not going to change. Our situations will change, and there will be happy times and sadder times then this – that’s for sure – and through it all, it still goes on. This will be another difficult week we all had to get through – but in the end, we all will have, stronger on the other end as a result.

It doesn’t change that feeling of loss. In these particular instances, the feeling of loss is eminent and concrete, and thus … sucks, regardless of who’s in control of it.

As I stood on the scale this morning and rejoiced in a loss of 2.2 lbs this week I thought of how different that feeling was to the others: loss as an accomplishment as opposed to a heart wrenching crapshoot. I tried to view it the way it should be viewed – a solid result to a goal of living in the now, and being happy and going after what you want, regardless of the changes and the hurt, and the loss you feel along the way.

That seemed to do the trick. The smile crept up, and the reminder was right below me. I’m en route to happy.  It’s the only course I’ve got to be on. I mean, in the end, if you’re not happy, no one around you will be.

Weekly gym attendance:
MAR 9 (10K training 30 min)
MAR 11 (10K training cardio 30 min)
MAR 13 (weight train 1 hr; 10K training cardio 30 min)

Weekly yoga attendance:
none.

Weight:
167.2 lbs (2.2 lbs loss)

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When there’s not enough balance.

Creating balance is something I am always trying to achieve (and it’s a big part of this blog) and here I am – with no balance in my life right now. It’s literally been work, work, work. Honestly, it’s almost as if I’ve become addicted. There are benefits of working from home, truly. I walk… THERE’S MORE