While updating my office last week (see gallery wall mapped out on the floor, above) I came across a lot of failure. Whether is was old papers that I haven’t filed properly (that happened a lot) or when I just couldn’t seem to get the frames to sit straight, failure just seemed to pop up. I was in such a rush to finish my decorating because I have so many things on my plate for work (exciting!) but the disorganization of the office has been keeping me at bay and really allowing me to throw myself into my work, and I think my rushing kept popping up with frames being knocked down accidentally, or not centring properly.
It reminded me of what I do when playing mind-numbing logic games on my iPhone (like Candy Crush, BubbleWitch – or this new favourite obsession – Cocktail Crush) I view the failure to succeed a level as a way that I’m operating in my life that is causing me to be stuck. For instance, I can’t seem to pass that level of Candy Crush – because I’m making the same mistakes over and over and I need to learn from them to move on. If the failure happens more then 10 times in a row, I sit back and say to myself: something is happening in my life right now that I’m doing the same thing with – I’m repeating the mistakes. I’ll totally sit there, continuing to play, with my current life situation unfolding around me, and then figuring out how to solve my issue and I kid you not, I end up finding an alternate way to pass the level I’m on of the game I’m playing.
If only life were that easy, right? But the thing is – it kind of is. When you fall, you get up – it seems to simply cliche but cliches are cliches for a reason and it’s because they’re true.
I’ve been asked, recently, why I don’t seem to be phased or freak out (too much) when something goes wrong. While I thought about it, it really wasn’t that difficult to reason with – the truth is, I learn the most when I’m dealing with a failure and therefore, I don’t find it too scary. It’s hard sometimes to hold yourself accountable to things you’ve perhaps not done the greatest, or to the fullest, but admitting it, or realizing it, is the biggest step to fixing the problem and making sure it never happens again.
We are not perfect. No one. And we really, really have to stop trying to be because all it does is produce more self-conscious worrying. The gallery wall I completed? I spent three hours, organizing, hammering, re-hammering, placing, catching frames that were falling when I touched them with my shoulder, being utterly scared that with every touch to the wall – something was going to fall.
The frames didn’t easily stop falling – but I started catching them (and also eventually replaced the nails I was using).