I used to think that a first love was just that: first. As in, there would always be more and perhaps even someone better, someone to really show you how love and relationships really are in the real world. When you’re actually grown up and date because you’re choosing and not just because the love makes your heart flutter. It’s real. It’s mature. It’s something else, not just love, it’s everything else that comes with it.
Often, I stare at this quote I have posted on the wall above my desk at home.
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game,” Randy Pausch.
It’s on a little white shiny card I received once from my short-term life coach. She sent it to me after I’d “let her go” so to speak. It came in a pack of twelve cards, each with a different inspiring quote on it. I’d almost called her and hired her back after I read this one, but decided to continue playing the hand I was dealt.
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard, in fact, after my grandfather said it once when he was on his death bed my mother couldn’t stop repeating it as if he had been the once who said it first in the beginning and was so proud of the fact. I would wonder where he’d first heard it.
That’s the thing about quotes, advice – wisdom. Where does it come from, really? Who says it first, and who credits it? In the end, it doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s good, used and listened to. When is it exactly that we look back and learn about the things we’ve accomplished in life and realized that we’ve, in fact, grown and learned from them? Is it when we stop making mistakes? But then again, do we ever stop making mistakes, or is it just that we make different ones?
Maybe it’s when we start embracing the mistakes and just accepting them instead of berating ourselves for making them in the first place that we realize we’re heading into this direction of “growing” and perhaps – that’s okay.